Sunday, March 15, 2009

To be quite honest.

To be honest, i'm scared of being honest. i always second guess my feelings, my actions...everything. i'm scared that everything is my fault. but lately i've been feeling like the stuff that's been happening actually isn't mine at all. i know for a fact i try as hard as i can to keep friendships alive. there's only so much effort i can put it when i don't feel like i'm recieving it back. i need to say a big thank you to some people that haven't been making me feel like absolute shit lately..

kelsea-i can't believe how alike you and i are. we have a lot of the same goals, dreams,'s always nice to talk to you and feel a sense of somebody actually listening to me. it's also fun to be the ones to listen to ALL of the drama and just sit back and laugh at it. you are also the only person i know that would make going to the carwash something to look foward to. i love you. can't wait for california. and i'm giving you the biggest shout out cause i know you'll actually read this haha

also:cari, clint, holly, haley, lindsey, alden, sarah, shelby, alyssa, taylor...

it's so hard for me to write this. because there are so many other names i want to add. but i can't. because at this moment, i feel like these are the only ones who give as much as i give to them.
i'm tired of fighting for friendships. i thought that was the last thing you were suppose to do. that's probably my biggest reason for wanting to leave conway...or arkansas for that matter. i want to show people what they are missing. i want to prove them wrong. i want to do more with my life than just sit around and dream about better things and dreading the reality of my life.

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